Riley Naylor

“Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new.” - 2 Corinthians 5:17

While I came to know Christ when I was very young, His Truth wasn’t real to me for much of my childhood as anxiety ruled many of my days. Mental health is something that is often condemned as lack of faith in Christian circles and I grew up hearing that I needed to just surrender, that I needed to pray more, that I needed to trust. The motive of those who told me those phrases, I genuinely believe that most were trying to be helpful. Some seek to escape difficult and honest conversations about faith because of discomfort, which yields empty words. I know that because I’ve tried giving those same pat answers. But in those years of deep struggle, it ended up making me feel more condemned than heard and accepted. After difficult years of loss, being treated poorly by boyfriends and falling deep into depression and suicidal ideation, Jesus kept bringing me back to this truth: I am loved, I am held and I am forgiven. Through all my faults (of which I have many), through the darkest moments of my life, Jesus has always given me little breaths of Life, of Love and of Hope. These were sometimes as simple as feeling the wind and feeling refreshed, or as profound as feeling Holy Spirit’s presence to the same extent as if someone was physically in the room. Sometimes I grasped onto these moments and other times I rejected them because they were not what I expected. But Jesus knew (and knows) so much better what I need and even now, when I respond to those invitations, those little thoughts of “I should reach out to a friend” or “I should go for a walk” or listen to a specific song, my heart and soul are recharged in a way I could never pursue on my own. I will be clear here: I still really struggle with anxiety and depression, but I am not consumed by guilt for these struggles nearly as much as I have been. So, why Jesus? He’s held me in the darkest moments where life didn’t hold any hope. He’s spoken love where I have spoken hate. He’s been strong when I have fallen apart. He has taken the worst of me and led me in the process that makes me new. He’s the reason that I have hope. He’s the reason I can get out of bed on hard days and He’s the reason that I haven’t given up on the dreams that felt impossible.