Emily McKenna
Growing up, I thought I had it made. Loving parents, fun friends, athletic success - what more could a kid want? I did not grow up in a Christian home, but a Christian family lived across the street from me. They would openly pray, talk about Jesus, and invite me to church. My response, naturally, was to scoff at their “rules” and “obligations” (did you even have a good childhood if you couldn’t read Harry Potter?!). I couldn’t see at the time that they really lived in and shared the love of God.
When I was 13, my neighbor invited me to join his Confirmation class at the Lutheran Church (holla at me if you’re Scandinavian! lol). Like most youths, I was enticed by the chance to hang out with friends and eat free food. There was absolutely no intention of learning more about Jesus. Still, the food and friendships were enough to motivate me to finish the 2-year class, make the declarations, and call it a day.
As a result of being confirmed, I had received all kinds of Christian-y gifts (a Bible, verse books, decorative crosses, etc.). It shouldn’t come as a surprise to you that I promptly stuffed all of these items into a box and stored them underneath “more valuable” items in my room, where they remained, hidden and forgotten, for two more years.
Jesus’ statement to His disciples in John 15:16 is the best way to summarize how I met Him in 2009, when I was a sophomore in high school. Jesus says, “You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you to go and bear much fruit.” Up until this point, I was indifferent, at best, to God. Realistically, I was His enemy. But one night, God captured my heart with His Word as I uncovered one of the hidden and forgotten verse books while cleaning my room. It was so simple, yet this moment truly did change my life forever. I simply read His Word and thought, for the first time, “I don’t want to stop reading this.” Thank you, Holy Spirit!
I can’t necessarily pinpoint the exact moment of my salvation. All I know is that God captured my heart by His Word, and once the ball got rolling it became unstoppable. Over the course of that year, the Holy Spirit revealed that God loved me, Jesus saved me from my sins, and that I couldn’t imagine my life without Him - there was no turning back. Life has since been filled with amazing moments and the difficult, yet beautiful, process of sanctification.
Jesus has walked with me through it all - a long season of depression, relational brokenness, relational beauty, a call to ministry, redemption, restoration, and the realization that the Holy Spirit is not only alive and a part of the Trinity, but actually active in my life (what?!?).
It is still mind-blowing for me to think back to the days before I knew the Lord and how I thought my life couldn’t possibly get any better. I will forever be grateful that my God knows what is best - that His thoughts and ways are higher than mine - and that by His grace He invited me into a relationship with Him.
Like only a loving Father could do, He revealed all the ways that my sin hindered me, that it attempted to destroy me, and that Jesus alone was my rescue from this sin that would lead to death. He saw my pride, arrogance, selfishness, and devotion to worldly love. He saw that I was headed down a path of false security in performance rather than a fruitful path in my identity in Christ. Not only that, but God knew that I would continue to struggle! He didn’t only rescue me once - He continues to faithfully lead me into who I am in Him and into the heavenly places of victory. The Lord, my God, takes me further and deeper than I could ever take myself.
At the end of the day, my answer to “Why Jesus?” is this: He knew exactly how I would fall short of His glory, yet He said, “I want you. Enter into my perfect love.”
