Andrew Durrett

There are so many things I could write about why we should believe Jesus is our way to salvation, that He died on the cross for all of us, was raised from the dead, gave His Spirit to live in us and guide us. But in each of our lives it comes down to direct experience - that moment of surrender. Like a fingerprint, it is different for each of us. For me, the why came down to that time in my life when I chose to let go and let Him in - accepting Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior.  

I was young and lost, not trusting anyone to the point of being unreachable. Arrogant and full of myself as I was, I did not know Jesus loved me. I had all the pleasures of the world at my beck and call but was smart enough to see how hollow and lifeless they were. I was smart enough to see the evil in the world (and people) all around me; smart enough to see that I was full of evil too - obsessive, manipulative, destructive, toxic. I was even smart enough to know that Jesus was real, but I did not know He loved me. I did not know He was right there waiting for me, extending His hand even to me in my evil fallen state.  

The answers I needed were in a book in the front room of my childhood home - a book we never talked about - a book I had never read. The answers I needed were all around me in fact, but I did not recognize He was there all along. The answers I needed were in prayer - something I did not know how to do.  

God sent me help though. He gave His spirit to live inside us and the Holy Spirit reached me through just a few people. They told me about Jesus and how much He loved me - that He would accept even me and carry me through this world to be with Him forever. I believed that was true for them but not for me, but they continued to work on me. They prayed with me and prayed for me.  

I look back now and realize I could have turned away and built a wall between me and Jesus for the rest of my life; but I decided to pray. I prayed every night for months. Every night I would sense His presence in the distance as powerful light. I would become filled with fear as that light came closer and I would stop praying.  I was convinced He was coming to kill me - to end my life and undo all the evil I was going to do to others in my life. Finally after many nights, my fear gave way to hopelessness and despair - with but a small glimmer of hope.  

And so I prayed these words one night: "Lord Jesus, I know I am evil and I do not deserve to be saved, but I surrender to you now.  If you would, please take my life and lead me to do Your will. If you would not have me, please kill me now because I don't want to live without You."  

Much to my surprise and great joy, He let me live. Jesus gave me a new life, new hope, and set me on a new path. He taught me to pray, baptized me, and led me to see and know Him more and more in the world around me and in that book in the front room we never talked about. Now He is my joy, my hope, my strength, and my guiding light today, tomorrow, and forever.  

So the answer to the very personal question “Why Jesus” is because Jesus loves me - even me, even you.  Whether you believe it or not, He is right here waiting for us all to let go and let Him in.