Bria McPhee
It never fails - every time my passion for Jesus is revealed, the first thing people choose to ask me is, “Why? Why Jesus? Why are you so on fire for God?” As someone who experienced sexual abuse as a child, physical and verbal abuse in my first real relationship, lost all my friends my freshman year of college, was left by a guy who I thought was going to marry me, and then sexually assaulted by another who promised not to hurt me; let’s just say depression and I were well acquainted, and my love for God was non-existent.
However, I finally gave my life back to Christ in May of 2018 because I wanted to “give God a try”, thinking maybe that If I stopped seeing Him as the enemy, He would help me. But a few months after that I lost my daddy. Life became a bother and living wasn’t worth it anymore. I was hospitalized for and almost attempted suicide that same year and once I left I thought things would be different. However I was showing up to church every Sunday and serving the Lord in different ministries, but I was still depressed and didn’t believe this life was worth living. I even considered giving up on my faith all together!! But Jesus truly saved my life.
So when you ask, “Why Jesus”, I’d tell you because in His loving kindness Jesus continued to pursue me even when I wanted nothing to do with Him. He saved me from suicidal thoughts and intentions. I had a radical encounter with Jesus that had me delivered from and set free of the evil influences over my life! While I was trying to take this life that was precious, God saved it and is now using this same life to SPEAK life into others! This fire ignited within me because God constantly outpours His love on me. It was through experiencing God for myself that my love for Him and desire to do what’s pleasing in His sight grew. It was because He is constantly revealing Himself to me in my experiences and His continued pursuit of me and my pursuits of Him that keeps me fired up for God. I’ve experienced freedom in Christ. I’ve experienced healing in Christ. I’ve experienced the fullness of joy in the midst of my storms. I’ve experienced authentic love in Christ. I’ve experienced God in a way that’s so personal that I want to scream and shout to the mountain tops.
Although challenges still come, I can boldly say I am LIVING for the Lord and my hope in Jesus has been renewed and strengthened on a different level. That’s why my desire to tell others about Jesus burns so heavily. That’s why this fire is lit up inside of me. I’ve heard so many people say, “I’ll come to God when I have it all together.” As in I’ll come to God when I stop sinning and can live my life right. You know it’s a tactic of the enemy to keep you in shame so you don’t reconcile with Christ. For it is your love for God that causes you to be obedient to Him. It is the Holy Spirit that transforms your heart to become more like Christ.
It is the Holy Spirit who fills and mends your broken heart. It is the healing from trauma, the deliverance from evil influences, and the freedom from bondage to sin that Jesus offers that transforms your lifestyle. Coming to Jesus isn’t just about following rules; it’s about transforming your heart to become more like Christ and loving, serving, and honoring God as He cares for and loves you. Jesus allows you to come as you are, but you don’t leave the same way you come in. You will never “live a better life” without Christ IN your life. It’s all about heart transformation not behavior modification. And the only One who transforms the heart is God. If He can do it for me, He can do it for you because He genuinely loves you.
